Saturday, November 24, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Lesbian Dating Tips - How to Meet the Right Woman
Despite the stereotype that lesbians move in together by the second date, lesbians date just as heterosexual people do. If you are newly out of the closet, be forewarned that being gay does not make the process of dating any easier. While some people are lucky enough to meet Ms. Right right away, for most people meeting someone compatible takes a lot of time and effort. It takes a lot of bad dates to get to the good ones, and it takes a lot of dating to get to a satisfying relationship. However, there are a few things you can do to make the search for your dream woman easier.
1. Look for women in places that would attract the type of woman you want to meet. It may sound like common sense, but if you do not enjoy drinking or dancing, you probably will not meet a compatible mate in a nightclub or bar. If you are shy about meeting people, or there is not a large lesbian community in your area, you might want to join a club or take a class in something that interests you, preferably one geared toward women.
2. If your city has a gay/lesbian community center, get involved. GLBT community centers usually offer various classes and activities. Pick one or a few that interest you and join in. By already knowing most of the women you will meet there are gay, you will take some of the frustration and guess-work out of trying to meet someone. Plus, if you do meet someone through a class or activity there, you will already have something in common with her to talk about and do together.
3. Get involved in online lesbian communities. The Internet is full of lesbian forums, message boards, discussion groups and blogs. Some are location-specific while others are of a more global nature. Although it is preferable to find an online group that serves your city or nearby towns, many global groups might have members from your area.
4. Join an online dating service, but before you do, make sure the dating site has local lesbian members. Many online dating sites serve the lesbian community but will not have many current members who live near you. Always browse around first to make sure the site has local active members who interest you before you commit to paying a fee for any online dating service.
5. Be open to blind dating. Although the very concept of blind dating is a turn-off to many people, keeping your options open might just allow you to meet your ideal partner. If a friend offers to set you up with someone, at least consider it before you say no. Ask a few questions about the woman, and if she sounds compatible, give it a try. If you are uncomfortable at the thought of sitting through a long date with someone you might not click with, meet for coffee. If the two of you connect, you can always make a dinner date for another night.
6. Befriend other lesbians. Making friends with other lesbians, including lesbian couples, can be one of the best ways to better your chances of meeting someone. By broadening your social network to include other lesbians who have common interests, you will be connecting with people who like to do the things you do and maybe even share the same goals and views you do. A new friend might have a friend who would like to meet you. Or, you just may turn a new friendship into a budding relationship.
Try not to get discouraged. If it were easy to meet the perfect person, there would not be so many single people eager to enroll in online dating services. Gay or straight, finding that one person you want to commit to a relationship with takes time and patience. Stay committed to the search, and remember all you have to offer. Ms. Right might be just around the corner, or she might live in the next town, but you will never find her if you give up.
Despite the stereotype that lesbians move in together by the second date, lesbians date just as heterosexual people do. If you are newly out of the closet, be forewarned that being gay does not make the process of dating any easier. While some people are lucky enough to meet Ms. Right right away, for most people meeting someone compatible takes a lot of time and effort. It takes a lot of bad dates to get to the good ones, and it takes a lot of dating to get to a satisfying relationship. However, there are a few things you can do to make the search for your dream woman easier.
1. Look for women in places that would attract the type of woman you want to meet. It may sound like common sense, but if you do not enjoy drinking or dancing, you probably will not meet a compatible mate in a nightclub or bar. If you are shy about meeting people, or there is not a large lesbian community in your area, you might want to join a club or take a class in something that interests you, preferably one geared toward women.
2. If your city has a gay/lesbian community center, get involved. GLBT community centers usually offer various classes and activities. Pick one or a few that interest you and join in. By already knowing most of the women you will meet there are gay, you will take some of the frustration and guess-work out of trying to meet someone. Plus, if you do meet someone through a class or activity there, you will already have something in common with her to talk about and do together.
3. Get involved in online lesbian communities. The Internet is full of lesbian forums, message boards, discussion groups and blogs. Some are location-specific while others are of a more global nature. Although it is preferable to find an online group that serves your city or nearby towns, many global groups might have members from your area.
4. Join an online dating service, but before you do, make sure the dating site has local lesbian members. Many online dating sites serve the lesbian community but will not have many current members who live near you. Always browse around first to make sure the site has local active members who interest you before you commit to paying a fee for any online dating service.
5. Be open to blind dating. Although the very concept of blind dating is a turn-off to many people, keeping your options open might just allow you to meet your ideal partner. If a friend offers to set you up with someone, at least consider it before you say no. Ask a few questions about the woman, and if she sounds compatible, give it a try. If you are uncomfortable at the thought of sitting through a long date with someone you might not click with, meet for coffee. If the two of you connect, you can always make a dinner date for another night.
6. Befriend other lesbians. Making friends with other lesbians, including lesbian couples, can be one of the best ways to better your chances of meeting someone. By broadening your social network to include other lesbians who have common interests, you will be connecting with people who like to do the things you do and maybe even share the same goals and views you do. A new friend might have a friend who would like to meet you. Or, you just may turn a new friendship into a budding relationship.
Try not to get discouraged. If it were easy to meet the perfect person, there would not be so many single people eager to enroll in online dating services. Gay or straight, finding that one person you want to commit to a relationship with takes time and patience. Stay committed to the search, and remember all you have to offer. Ms. Right might be just around the corner, or she might live in the next town, but you will never find her if you give up.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
It's easy in today's society to try to force yourself into one category or another where your sexuality is concerned. By society's standards if you are a woman that is attracted to and has relations with other women you are a lesbian, if you are a man that is attracted to and has relations with other men you are gay, and if you are either male or female and you are attracted to both sexes then you are bi-sexual. These standards are fairly rigid, especially because for most of us sexuality is a journey, an exploration not only of the people around us, but also of ourselves. If we force ourselves to be shoe horned into one of these categories or another we may not be experiencing something that we could really enjoy or that may be a large part of who we are.Don't Force It!If you are predominately attracted to one sex or the other don't force the issue. Yes, by all standards you may then either be gay or straight but there is no need to assume that things couldn't change. Even if you are a man that has always been attracted to women there is nothing to say that there isn't a man out there that is so perfectly suited for you that you wouldn't at least consider a relationship with him. Does this mean that you are no longer straight? No! It just means that you cannot force the issue. You are not who you are attracted to, and you cannot force yourself to fit into one orientation or another. You are who you are and you are attracted to people because of who they are.Go Ahead, Experiment!If you are curious about whether or not your mere attraction to other men or women may be physical why not experiment? As long as you are safe and you take precautions to only experiment with people who are equally as safe, as discretionary, and as quiet about their sexual encounters as you are you will find that you can experiment and find out what else may be out there. If you enjoy yourself, then you will have found a whole new side of yourself. If you find that it is not for you, then you know and you will have grown as a person.Sex should be Fun!Sex is a form of expression, and only you know and can choose who you want to have sex with. You don't have to have sex with only one type of person or one sex to be okay with yourself. As long as you aren't hurting yourself or anyone else, allow yourself to have fun with your body and to explore through sex and sexuality. Too many people hold back and identify themselves through who they have sex with, and that really is not any way to live!
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